So amidst the joys of third trimester discomfort, I am having some emotional issues. You see, my mother has had health problems for years related to her cigarette smoking. She had a stroke about 10 years ago and has since been diagnosed with emphysema and congestive heart failure...all of this because of the smoke. She has tried to quit multiple times, and we (my siblings and I) have always tried to be supportive of her. After a lengthy discussion, we decided the only way to get her to stop was through tough love.

I was the only one willing to do it, so...mom was told that if she smoked, she was not invited to any ultrasounds. She held out, until the last ultrasound, after which she went right back off the band wagon. Finally, I told her "smoke again and you are barred from the delivery room." So she claimed she was quitting again. I asked again last night, and sure enough, she admitted to an occasional smoke. I was furious. I told her that smoking was lowering the value of her home, how much it made clothes/hair/etc. stink like an ashtray, and how sad I was that cigarettes seem to be more important to her than my baby. She simply said she was not in the mood to argue with me.

Now I am torn. What do I do? Do I really barr her from the delivery room of her 1st grandchild? It feels cruel, but how else will she learn to take me seriously?