So yesterday my boss and I had the following conversation. It started with an email she sent me which went like this:

Hi,
**** told me this morning that she is taking a job at ************** as their exhibits coordinator. Last day will be Feb. 13. I’m telling you this for 2 reasons…first you just need to know. Secondly, the office position might be something to think about with a baby. I am not suggesting you should change jobs at all. I will be very happy if everything works out so that you can remain a consultant.

The assistant position would have to mean a downward adjustment in salary since this is a lower level position, but I wanted to put the idea on the table in case it has any interest for you.

See you at ********* tomorrow!

I did not know how to react at first. I was torn between being hurt, being intrigued, being insulted, yet being strangely comforted that she wanted me to stick around after the baby was born. I actually spent most of the day talking to friends, my mom, and my husband trying to decide how to tactfully reply. Here was what I came up with:

Hi ***,
Thank you very much for thinking of me when you heard about ****. An office job is a very tempting prospect, and although I would love to work for ********** in the ******* office, I'm afraid that ****'s position would not provide enough of a challenge for me or enable me to use the experiences and skills that I have developed during my time with ************. Please feel free to keep me in mind if other local positions come up in the future though, and I appreciate your looking out for me!

Her reply to me was:

No problem. I only mentioned it since it popped up. You are definitely over skilled for the job, but I didn’t want to make any judgment calls. :)

As you can see, I am still taken aback by the conversation. I think it affected me more than I thought it might...

Telling the Boss

So I did it. I told the boss. The day, leading up to the actual MOMENT I told her, was one of the most excruciating in my entire life. I was expecting the worst. And with my co-workers' past history of sharing their experiences with the "grown-ups" at work...I think I just wanted to prepare myself for the worst that could possibly happen.

I was NOT prepared for what actually DID happen.

My boss LEPT UP from her chair, squealed, and threw her arms around me. She told me to wipe my teary eyes and celebrate dammit. She mentioned that everyone was wondering if I had just "ballooned up" after the holidays. She even mentioned other, less travel intensive opportunities at the office. WOW. Was that a relief or WHAT! :)

Stress stress stress....

I don't know how related to pregnancy this post will be, but it feels like these days it connects to everything I do. Work sucks. I cannot concentrate...actually, I am not motivated to concentrate is more like it. My travel schedule is barely existant and I am just plain mentally exhausted. I am bored. I would rather surf the net and explore baby stuff than complete my tasks. I was burnt out before I got pregnant. Maybe that is one thing that let me know that having this baby was the right thing to do...I needed a life change.

A friend of mine from work resigned yesterday. She has a four-month-old at home, and the pressure our company was putting on her to travel full-time right away was too much for her. This angers me for so many reasons. I have always known that our company was not entirely family friendly. Most of the execs are either childless, or old enough that the family has left the roost. Every pregnancy or adoption in the time I have been there has been met with disdain and comments such as "so what exactly are you going to do about this?" I understand that we have traveling jobs, and families do not merge well with them. But the least they could do is congratulate us for our new blessings. I think I have been sorely lacking in congratulations and enthusiasm. So much so, that I was nervous about letting too many people in my personal life know about the baby. Why is it that America is so anti family!?!?! Why does having a baby have to be the end of one's life!?!?! This is the start of something wonderful, I know it. I think one has to be visably pregnant before people start really getting excited. I think it really seems real at that point. I hope...

I suppose my emotional state has been exacerbated by the fact that my mother was taken to the emergency room last night with shortness of breath, numbness and vomiting. She was on a business trip and this happened right before a training she was supposed to manage began. Work has been stressful for her...her boss is a total screaming banshee nightmare. I think I am going to make her move in with me for the week...force her to take the rest of the week off of work. No more trading health for work. I did it for the last two years, but I am not even 30 yet. She is over 60 and is not in the best shape, having had a stroke and congestive heart failure. I want her to live to see this damn baby! And more than just see it! This baby needs a grandma.

I guess this post did end up being about pregnancy...I told you. Everything leads back to this baby somehow. :)

Job Woes

So, with my first work assignment "post-pardum," it looks like the ever frightening day has come when I have to tell the boss about this baby. I was hoping I would be able to hold off until...say, a month before birth? Guess not. I am petrified and have been procrastinating as much as humanly possible. I was a witness to the last (and ONLY other) pregnant consultant telling the big boss...who politely replied "Oh really? So what do you expect to do?"

NOT LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS!!! NEED ENCOURAGEMENT!!!

The one time in my life where I will let the world gaze upon my tummy blubber!

Here I am at 15 wks...(last week) and this is the LAST time I will be wearing THIS skirt)

Yoga for the Faint at Heart

I went to yoga last night for the first time since knowing I was pregnant, and it was hialrious. The teacher there was the person I was dreading it would be. He is the kind of guy that gets through his set in the first 20 minutes because he is going so fast that he has to ad lib the rest of the class...meanwhile we are all gasping to keep up.

He is this flamboyant, yet serious guy, who is very stoic until we all get something that is rather challenging, then a high pitched "Oh my gosh, you all did it! Yay!" It cracked me up. What also cracked me up was modifying all my moves to not:

• lay on my back
• lay on my front
• put pressure on my abdomen
• twist too hard
• over extend any muscles

The friend who went with me got a laugh or two out of my attempts to do simplified (aka: wimpy) moves. Apparently there is a pregnancy hormone that acts as a muscle relaxer, and so pulling muscles can happen without mw even knowing. Sigh. Oh well. It was fun to get out of the house.

Lonely

So my husband was assigned an out-of-town gig for work, even though he was promised the opportunity to stay close to home until der bebe is born. As a sympathy gift, and in order to make sleeping more comfortable (since I have to sleep on my side and M has been my side-sleeping prop for the last month), we went out last night and bought this:

My life has reached a point where getting a giant body pillow is really exciting. Kill me. Kill me now.

I must admit it is comfy as heck...

Snoogle, AKA "Surrogate Husband"

End of (Holi)Days

I survived the holidays, barely. Moodiness is part of this process...and I have the right to be bitter about all kinds of things for the next six months.

Meanwhile, I recieved all kinds of maternity gear for Xmas. Hooray for registering for baby junk pre-Xmas! The family on both sides pitched in for a few pieces of baby furniture, which rocked my world. I got some gift cards too. I would much rather have gift certificates for pricey baby stuff than gift certificates for crate and barrel that may never get used. Hooray. My friends also got me some non-baby stuff, reminding me that I am important too. I think I had forgotten...Yay! Thank you!