UGH

The first trimester feels like a neverending bout of PMS. I am bloated. I am grumpy. I am crampy. I go from being starving one minute to being nauseous the next. I want chocolate. I want to cry. My moods are SWINGING. Boy, this is fun fun fun.

YOLK SAC

I had a 6 weeks ultrasound yesterday, at which the technician informed me that, in fact, I was only 5 weeks pregnant. Sigh. At least there was something in there. At the ultrasound in the emergency room 10 days ago, there was nothing visible. Today, we saw...THE YOLK SAC! So I had no idea there even WAS a yolk sac. In fact, it was a little freaky, but pretty cool. I am scheduled to go in next week to see if the yolk sac is actually attached to a baby. We should then be able to see a heartbeat.

My husband was kind of disappointed that there was nothing more to see. At this point, my hormones raged out of control and I decided I was furious that he was so pessimistic. For crying out loud...he said "lots of pregnancies never see it through the first trimester." I am thinking to myself, "What the hell? Are we ever going to be happy about this? So many people have such a hard time concieving, we didn't even have to try!"

HRMPH. Boys. They need schooling in how NOT to upset the pregnant wife.

MIDWIFE

So I woke up still spotting, only this time, it was joined by a fun clot of blood. Sure that I was dying, I called and made an emergency appointment with a midwife. I had no idea I was setting myself up for a lot more poking, prodding and invasive exams before she told me she did not want to be concerned yet. I had another pelvic, more blood drawn, and future appointments set.

In the end, she seemed like a nice lady, very much a plump, grey-haired ex-hippy, with a nice face. The nurses were all nice,and every time I call this place they are so helpful. I think I may stick with these folks!

When I was bleeding originally, I called a number of different places. Some of them even told me they could not help because I had never had an appointment there before. JERKS. So the moral of the story is, mean people suck. Nice people rool. And nice people get my business.

Update: Blood tests came back good...looks like this baby really wants to be born.

The ER

I have not been to the ER since I was a little girl. Even then, I am not sure that was a real ER, but rather a clinic in our neighborhood. Scary. My neighbor stayed with me as long as she could. I could not get ahold of my hubby (he picked a HELL of a day to leave his cell phone at home), so I called my mom. She managed to get an email out to the hubby and both raced to see me about an hour before I was released. I was poked, prodded, and tested for all kinds of wonderful things. Highlights of the day:

-peeing in a cup and carrying that around the ER looking for my nurse
-having nearly a pint of blood violently extracted and sent off for testing
-having a pelvic exam in front of some med students AND my poor neighbor
-having the urinalysis tell me I was not pregnant...then three hours later having a blood test confirm that I AM pregnant (MAKE UP YOUR MINDS!)
-waiting 7 hours to go to ultrasound, only to have to have an INTERNAL ultrasound...again in front of some med students
-These cute little old men who are "volunteers" at the ER brought me some icewater (the only nurishment I had consumed during the day) only to have me spill ice cold water all over myself
-getting kicked out of my room and spending most of the day in the hall of the ER trying not to make eye contact with strangers

Finally, I left, and went to my favorite veggie restaurant to wolf down a Santa Fe Salad. Then I proceeded to discover the joys of pregnancy nausea. What a productive day!

So, the week before last I suffered from perhaps the worst PMS known to man. I was crampy, grumpy, bloated, my boobs were so raw and I regularly burst into tears for no good reason at all. I even had a dinner conversation with my good friend A about how I wish my period would com already and provide me with SOME kind of relief. As though my body were listening to my cries, I started spotting on Saturday. I spotted Sunday. I spotted Monday.

ENOUGH ALREADY WITH THE SPOTTING!!! So I did a little internet search...and guess what? Spotting is a common sign of early pregnancy. Deciding not to panic, I spend Monday lunch hour swinging by the local pharmacy to grab the cheapest EPT I could find. Sure enough...TWP LINES APPEARED. I panicked. Choking back 1000 emotions I called my doctor, to ask what the hell to do now. I had no idea. I did not help that her nurse came back to the phone insisting I go to the ER right away.

As I took off for the hospital, I realized, I didn't even know where the heck it was...so I ran to my neighbor's house to get some directions. She panicked right along with me, and insisted she be my chaperone. I didn't realize until that point how out of control I was. I was sobbing all the way to the emergency room.